We are at war. In the growing era of made-at-home and smart-option meals, these office epicureans have taken over workplace lunch space in full force. Hiding behind the shield of “I made it at home, so it’s healthier,” these desk lunch warriors have expanded their assault on the typical lunch day with fancy grilled cheeses and overnight oatmeal in a mason jar.
Have you ever walked into your office and wondered why the office smells like the Seattle Pike Street Fish Market? The answer: LARRY.
From Larry’s backpack, he brings in six small Tupperware bowls, a sushi mat and all the fixin’s to make his own dragon rolls at the office. Like a culinary ninja from Top Chef, Larry skillfully slices and dices, rolls and folds over the next 20 minutes until the perfect sushi rolls have been created. Am I jealous? The answer: YES.
It’s all about productivity. How can one focus on the creative work before them if Larry’s dragon rolls are deliciously wafting throughout the office. I am proposing to take back the office work lunch and fight these sneaky desk lunch warriors. Some suggestions I can offer:
- Order take-out or walk your backpacked lunch to eat at a local park.
- Pick a new restaurant every week to explore.
- Eat at home
- Hide Larry’s backpack.
So I implore you to arm yourselves – with sporks and chopsticks – and take back our lunch day at the office. Eating out helps your local economy, creates a vibrant community, elevates the office working mind by leaving the workspace. This changing environment also allows for more exercise and social interaction with friends, customers and coworkers. More importantly, the office doesn’t smell like a fish stand from Larry’s dragon roll sushi.
Prepare yourselves for battle…winter is coming…
*this article is written as a satire…Matt actually brings in his lunch almost every day. 🙂 If you’d like to join the ranks of Matt’s lunchtime army, he can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.